Stay the Course

Posted on by
7

Inkwell to throw at the Angel's headI tossed a pathetic little quip up on Facebook last night looking for homemade remedies for the times when one feels like a big loser.  Chocolate, running, red wine, sleep, music, nature and even sex (I think) were amongst the suggestions.  I love my friends.  Love Facebook for the immediacy of hearing from people.

Ted posted three words, Stay the course.  And that’s probably the winner suggestion so far.  Because there’s really just nothing much else you can do.  I’m drawing a mental picture of me eating chocolate and counting my blessings while taking a long run in a remote, tree-filled stretch and drinking red wine to some good tunes on my iPod (I’m not sure about running and having sex at the same time).  And all of these things are good, but in the end, I’ve just got to keep doing what I’m doing.  I want to write.  It’s pretty simple really.

I started a post the other day describing how I feel like I’ve got my nose pressed up against the bookstore window and I’m looking in.  I’m so close to all of those lovely, inviting books.  So very close to all of that gorgeous writing.  The luminous images, the profound dialogue, the ordinary constructed from fresh words and recorded on the page.  And I’m standing outside in the cold, blowing rain with no umbrella.  Nose pressed to the glass which I’m fogging up with my self-pitying breath because I haven’t figured out the money piece yet.

Notice that standing in front of the bookstore doesn’t actually entail direct involvement with pen and paper.  All of this time spent listening to the voices telling me what a loser I am isn’t getting me any closer to writing my essays.  So I’m flipping on the coffee machine to inject a little caffeine into these tired bones and getting to work.

Currently, I’m reviving my obsession with Virginia Woolf.  Thinking of her slaying the Angel of the House by throwing an inkwell at her head.  Woolf’s Angel is the demon that tells women to “Be sympathetic; be tender; flatter; deceive; use all the arts and wiles of our sex.  Never let anybody guess that you have a mind of your own.”

Women have accomplished a lot in terms of freedom to speak and write their minds without fearing retribution.  But I still feel the Angel fluttering by, whispering little sweet nothings about how I am nothing.  I have dragged out Amalia’s inkwell, the heavy old-fashioned kind that she bought to go with her Harry Potter quill pen.  It really does have a nice heft to it.  Feels good in the hand.  So no more fear, right?  Slay the Angel daily.

Stay the course.

 

Twitt

Fortunata’s Story: Mother’s Day 2012

Posted on by
Reply

Fortunata and her daughter Florida. (Photo: Gary He/AP Images for One Campaign)Through the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation (EGPAF), I recently spoke with Fortunata Kasege and heard her story.  Fortunata came to the US from Tanzania 15 years ago.  She arrived here to attend school, only to discover that she was pregnant and HIV+.  It’s hard to imagine the fear, sadness and intense range of emotions Fortunata must have experienced.  But she also got help.  Here’s more of her story:

“My story is just one of those lucky stories, one of those very good ending stories.  I always feel like we can have many more of my story around the world.  It takes all our efforts together.

Fifteen years ago, I had no idea that I was carrying a baby and also that I was HIV+.  When I went for my first prenatal, that’s when I was told that I was positive.  It was  scary to think that I could not only lose my life, but the life of my unborn kid was also in jeopardy due to this disease.  So luckily, because of the treatment that was made available at that time, my life was saved and the life of my baby was saved.  That’s why I’m forever grateful for this opportunity for me to get the treatment here.  She’s healthy, she was born without the disease so the medicine worked. She’s going to be 15 next week.  This is the least that I can do—to tell the world that it’s possible to save lives.”

And that’s where Fortunata’s work comes in.  She’s an ambassador for EGPAF–helping to spread the word about the good work the foundation is doing.  EGPAF has programs in 13 African countries, the US and India.  Their focus is three-pronged:

  1. Advancing research on prevention, care and treatment of pediatric AIDS
  2. Prevention of transmission from mother to child
  3. Raising awareness and advancing public policy to eradicate pediatric HIV/AIDS.

Fortunata’s daughter is healthy thanks to early intervention and diagnosis.  Being here in the US was a huge advantage.  What Fortunata had seen in her own country was that HIV/AIDS = death.   The medical team she worked with throughout her high-risk pregnancy helped her not only with the medicine, but with her fears and emotions.  And now, she’s giving back as part of the EGPAF A Mother’s Fight campaign.  Check out the website to read some really meaningful, loving stories about motherhood from kids affected by the AIDS epidemic and from people around the world.

As I write this, I’m sitting in my pajamas.  There’s a vase with red, red roses on the table.  My oldest daughter is still sleeping, but my youngest is crashing around the kitchen making pancakes and sausage for my Mother’s Day breakfast.  And they are healthy and I have to stop to reflect on what that means.  Fortunata made a comment about Mother’s Day that stuck with me.  She said, “A chance for life–Mother’s Day.  Life for mother and child. I feel like I am the one who got the gift. I am the one who got this incredible gift to be a mom.”

Motherhood is profound.  EGPAF is doing amazing work to insure that many, many more women get to experience all the depth and joy of being a mother.  Please support them.

For more of Fortunata’s story, check out the Mom Bloggers for Social Good site.

Twitt

Izzy’s Review of “Girl in Progress”

Posted on by
1

Girl in ProgressI think this qualifies as Guest Post #2.  I took my daughter Izzy with me to a screening of the film Girl in Progress courtesy of Pantelion Films.  Here are some of her thoughts:

Recently I went to a screening with my mom to see Girl In Progress. This film is a coming of age story with a single mother, Grace trying to raise her daughter Ansiedad. As Hiram Martinez, the screenwriter says, “Grace was a no brainer. It’s the timeless clash between mother and daughter.” In this story Ansiedad studies other coming of age stories in order to create her own.

There are many stories structured like this. Personally, I didn’t find these characters very relatable.  I wanted the character’s background to progress a bit more than was shown. I thought that the story lacked something, maybe more of the character’s background, or maybe just more excitement. Since the film had to be shot in only 22 days though, it deserves a lot of credit. The lead actors did a great job in portraying their characters strengths and weaknesses. It was realistic and not over played.

Hopefully not everyone is as cynical as I am and can find enjoyable themes in this film. If you were raised by a single mother, I can see that film could affect you strongly. The director, Patricia Riggen, talked about how some girls with single mothers who came to a screening were in tears by the end of the movie and through the Q & A. In the end when making a movie, isn’t reaching people the main goal? I can appreciate the fact that coming of age stories are harder to make original- it’s really all been done. It could even be that my standards were too high for this film due to the fact that I just finished reading The Catcher In The Rye which is basically the original coming of age story.

If you’re looking for something to go see on Mother’s Day, I’d say Girl in Progress is a good movie for a crowd of 12-14 year olds to see with their moms. Everyone gets into fights with their moms—it’s inevitable. The end of this film portrays the mother and daughter being able to try again and admit they were wrong. This is a good reminder that should not be taken lightheartedly. Admitting you were wrong is an especially hard thing to do for mothers and daughters alike. So forgive your mom and take her to see this movie.

 

Twitt